Tears were shed

"The bad dream will be over tomorrow right?"
"It's not a dream...."

I never wanted today to come. The horrible anticipation has been building up since February 28th...The day we found out this was happening.
But it came anyways. William and I both tossed and turned all night... reaching for each other under the covers every time we accidentally separated. We were both thinking the exact same thing. Only a few more hours... When it was time to get up to get ready I didn't want to.  I mean who would? But it was really all a numb blur.  It's crazy really how I functioned as well as I did this morning.  But I guess that's what being a parent will do to you. That, and the fact that I knew I couldn't keep the inevitable from happening.  I knew it would be hard saying goodbye.  Even if this time it is only supposed to be for 107ish days.  Nothing is a guarantee with the Army. I knew it would be harder watching him say goodbye to Levi. I was doing really well until I saw one of the other wives lose it as her husband said goodbye to their 4 year old and 3 month old.  That was the end of it for me... tears rolled. Levi was oblivious. But William made a point to stare into his little boys eyes and talk to him and tell him bye. We exchanged a kiss and a hug and got a few pictures... and then he got on the bus.

William had to get off the bus a few minutes later to give me the keys to the car... good thing they hadn't pulled out yet.  That would have been interesting.

Now that we are home I'm avoiding the basket of clean laundry - half William's.

Overall, I have to say today didn't feel like I thought it would.  It hurts so badly feeling this emptiness in our house, our bed, the garage and knowing that there won't be any unexpected trips to see each other.  But, I'm glad it's over with.  I'm ready to get on with it.  The deployment. The faster it gets started the faster it will be over with.