Irony

So this weekend someone decided to be less than supportive of William and I and our pregnancy journey.

Oh well.  I'm trying to learn to let it roll off my back.

I had another 21 day progesterone check today.  We will see what it says.  I'm hoping it's good news even if I didn't get pregnant this time.

So thankful for...

My job.

I love working in the schools.  It is different every day.  I love my kiddos.  They make me smile every day. When I have rough/tough days at work with all the adults around me, they always make me forget whatever else was going on.

All this to say... I am extremely concerned with the budget "crisis" going on in the US.  Personally I don't yet know if I will be affected.  I think I'm fairly "safe" but I don't yet know the extent it will affect my district.  I already know several people that have been affected.  The saddest-- William's classmate in Arizona was a teacher in Austin ISD.  He found out yesterday he doesn't have a job to return home to.  This is devastating for teachers because what else are you supposed to do if you are a teacher and can't get a job.  I'm pretty sure every district is under hiring freeze's for teachers and most professionals (although Richardson is still hiring SLPs right now which is insane).

We have been considering moving so that William could get a job with better hours... but this definitely leaves some doubts in our minds.  I don't want to quit and then be unable to find another position.  It looks like we will be staying put for a while.

If you are in a district/state/anywhere that has bonds coming up on ballots, pay attention to them.  Stay informed in general.  These are our kids we are talking about.  Not to mention thousands of jobs that hang in the balance.

Baby making

Dana told me that I should update this blog with the real details of the weekend... but I vote that's TMI.

I'm grateful I got to see William and hopeful that "it" worked.  I'm stuck in this weird place of trying not to get my hopes up but being so excited at the possibility.

I'm thankful also that everyone has been pretty supportive.  Or at least the people that know.

Weekend Recap

I'm starting to get used to all of the cactus in Arizona.  There may actually be more in Arizona than in Texas.

Here's a bulleted list of our itinerary.  The pictures will follow.

• We visited Kartchner Caverns.  It is one of the most well preserved live caves in the world.  No pictures though... due to the conservation on the cave. 
• We checked into the hotel in Tucson and then went on a little nature walk to the hotel waterfall.  The natural part is a little questionable considering the waterfall contained more water than we saw in our entire trip.  Odd.
• We went to a fancy shmancy dinner in Tucson. Okay it wasn't that fancy.  But we liked it none the less.  No pictures. Sorry.
• Sunday we woke up and then went to a cute Farmer's Market.  This was only after I convinced William we would be able to find something better to eat there than at Sonic.  It was a tough sell.  
• We then headed over to 4th Street where there was a car show going on.  Aren't I such a nice wife taking my husband to a car show.  It was a fun atmosphere.  We grabbed some pizza at a place on 4th.
• Then we headed to the movies.  We saw The King's Speech which I have been wanting to see forever! It was great.  William liked it too. He even let me talking about stuttering for a full 10 minutes at dinner after the movie.  I had to ask permission first though.
• Monday we got breakfast or lunch or something.  Yea... we didn't get up early. Then we headed to the Sonoran Desert Museum.  It was pretty fun.  We saw some hawks.
• Then William dropped me off at the airport 2 hours early because he likes to torture me. And then I flew home. 

The view from our room

I could lay down flat in the bottom of this bathtub... it was huge!

Green trees.... green because the bark has chlorophyll for photosynthesis since it doesn't have leaves! Neato! 

Saguaro Cactus... forests of them everywhere in Arizona

Adequately named the "Shindagger" cactus!

Ouchy

The hotel

Purple Cactus... duh

Farmer's Market entertainment

So much better than Sonic... Fresh Tamales!

Random Orange trees

Front of our hotel

The view at the desert museum

Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?

Wolf

William's favorite... the fox. 

Harris Hawks in a flight demonstration!

Hummers... so fast.  

It was a great weekend.  I don't mind Arizona... but William says we can't move there.  Not sure why... but it's fine with me.

So excited about...

Going here...

 And kissing him...

Is it Friday yet?

I'm ready to be in Arizona already!

Too Funny!

Saw this hilarious post on my friend's Facebook wall.  You have to be half Broadway fan, half science nerd to get it...


"So im on a road trip with my fiance and I put on "defying gravity" to mess with him. He slams on the brakes and I smack my face on the mirror to which he responds 'you can defy gravity all you want but you can't defy inertia.'"

I literally laughed out loud!

Creepy

The ads on my facebook suddenly changed from all the "mom" ads to infertility/IVF ads.  I guess I shouldn't be too surprised... but seriously HOW DO THEY KNOW!

Words That Make Us Wonder

Marriage is hard.  

I know we are not the only people that think this.  But I also know that there are lots of couples out there that have never had an argument.  And that think that marriage is rainbows and butterflies. We are NOT those people. If you are one of those people... just wait.  Juuuusttt you wait. 

William and I talk a lot about our marriage.  I'm not sure how much progress we have made.  But we know that keeping the lines of communication open is half of the battle.  We talk about what's good, what's bad and even what's ugly.  We talk about ways to change, what we refuse to change, and things we have no idea how to change. 

Doing this from far away is especially difficult.  We are busy.  We have completely separate lives right now. 

Here are some things that have kept me going.  Words that have given me and us things to think about and inspiration for wanting to strive to always be the best wife I can be. 

ReEngage

Recognize I need God’s help.

• John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Expect nothing in return.

• Luke 9:24 “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

Extend and seek forgiveness.

• Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.”

Nurture and defend my marriage at all times.

• I Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Give up myself for the benefit of my spouse

• Ephesians 5:33 “Let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.”

Advocate for my spouse’s purpose in life.

• Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Grow in the adventure of knowing and being known.

• 1 Corinthians 13:12 “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

Excell endlessly toward oneness.

• Genesis 2:24 “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

I struggle with many of these things.  It is absolutely in human nature to resist most of them.  I have a hard time expecting nothing in return.  I've put lots of effort into things my whole life.  And I expect to see results.  This lends me to expect things when I've put hard work into things for William.  And I know that's wrong. I also know that I really struggle with always defending my marriage.  Because I like to complain.  This has got to stop.  Now don't think I'm hard on myself.  I also can recognize that some of these I'm great at.  Like always advocating for my spouse's purpose in life.  I have always supported him 100%.  I will go to the end's of the earth to make sure that he is doing what he is called to do.  Right now it's the Army. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I also enjoy growing in the adventure of knowing and being known.  I didn't always.  But now I do.  

Also, here are some other ideas I love... even though a lot of them require you to be in somewhat close proximity to your husband:
Ten Things That Make the Most Difference from my favorite blog Today's Letters
It's a long post... so I'll just post a few of my favorites... Please go read the whole thing... They are amazing people and their words make me so happy!


4. We (try and) Conflict Well: Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but we believe it exists to make us better, not bitter. We try and keep short accounts with one other by sharing our disappointments and hurt feelings. This isn't always easy but it's necessary in maintaining marital oneness. From experience we know there's nothing more damaging to our relationship than harbored bitterness.

5. We Play Together: Husband and I have chosen to be active together. Whether it's tossing the Frisbee, flying our kite, going on walks, participating in adventure races, reading bedtime stories, or building forts in our living room, playing together has helped us find our inner child. It has also reminded me that being active together can be romantic. After all, deep down I know Husband wants me to be his sidekick when it comes to doing "guy things" with him. Realizing this has been critical in helping us stay connected both physically and emotionally.


7. We Celebrate Each Other: Husband and I love to make a big deal out of anniversaries,birthdays, holidays, and even smaller personal accomplishments. We are each other's biggest fans, and finding a thoughtful gift or preparing a special meal can make the biggest difference in helping us feel known, loved, and celebrated.

8. We Don't Do Marriage Alone: Our trusted friends have been incredibly helpful in showing us how to work through some of the bigger issues in our marriage. It wasn't always easy to share these struggles because of our pride and embarrassment, but soon we realized that most couples were struggling with the same things we were. We've learned that isolating only hinders us from truly dealing with our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.


And I think one of the most important things I've learned is that:
Conflict can be redemptive. 
Don't know what redemption means? I'll save you the google.
Redemption:
/rɪˈdɛm(p)ʃ(ə)n/
noun

[mass noun]

• 1 the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil:God's plans for the redemption of his world
• [in singular] a thing that saves someone from error or evil:his marginalization from the Hollywood jungle proved to be his redemption
• 2 the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt.
• archaic the action of buying one's freedom.

6.85 miles later...

I can say I did it.

I felt really good for pretty much the whole thing.  The first 3 miles flew by.  We stopped for a quick water break and then headed straight up a big hill.  Ugh.  Made me wish we hadn't stopped for water.  Anyways, pushed through it and before I knew it we were at 5.6 miles.  It felt awesome.  My record distance prior to today was 5 miles.  So I had already beat my personal record at that point.  And I was still feeling good.  So at mile 6 this huge hill rises up in front of us.  Seriously... a big hill.  I was just praying I made it.  When we got to the top we kind of without words all voted to walk about a minute.  Then we headed back down the hill back to the DRC clubhouse.  Afterwards I wasn't winded or even too tired... I just started getting sore quickly.

My right hand hurts from hanging on to my water bottle... even though it has a strap it's like second nature to clench it.  I may be moving to a belt soon... but I just hate the idea.

My right knee also is painful.   But I think it's just tired.

Understandably... it was almost 7 miles!

What's going to get me through the week...

• This morning's run. (And Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday's runs)
• Sunday School on Sunday.
• A few good books on my Nook.
• Valentine's Day parties at school.
• An "I Hate Valentine's Day" Party. 'Cause let's face it... after my last post... what is there to love about being 1000 miles from your husband even if it's just a cheesy holiday.
• JONNA and bryan's BIRTHDAY.
• Social Thinking conference on Wednesday and Thursday.
• Bridal shower after school on Wednesday.

And then Friday will be here!

Dear William,

I am an awesome wife.  Here's why:

For Valentine's Day I sent you all of this:

From here:

Because I know that the way to your heart is through your stomach.

But these people:

had other plans.

Your awesome gift was supposed to be delivered today... See...

One problem.  See that little part about the last location? Yea.... It's definitely still in Mesquite.  And will be promptly inedible starting tomorrow.

So really... I tried.  I thought long and hard about what to get you.  I wanted it to be the best present ever!

Darn UPS!

I hope you still think I'm the most amazing wife ever.

I love you,
Peyton

Let the crying begin.