A look back...

It's 5am on a Saturday

Well... it's 5am on a Saturday.  I had to get up to pee (I mean I'm 9 months pregnant give me a break) at about 3:30.  Then William got up for work at 4:00 and here I am, still up at 5:00am.  Pretty typical.

So what do you do when you are wide awake at 5:00am? Today I paid bills and caught up on my blog reading and now I'm actually writing a blog post.  Quite productive wouldn't you say?

Thanks to everyone who expressed concern over my friends over the past few weeks.  I know it was also probably not easy to see me feeling down at such an "exciting" time in my life.  But alas, let's get one thing straight... the last month of pregnancy is not exactly "exciting". I can think of about a million other words to explain it (exhausting, tiring, frustrating, nerve wracking, anxiety filled, scary) but "exciting" isn't my word choice.  Sorry. Anyways, all that to say, I am feeling a bit better about things.  As painful as it has been to watch my friend Whitney and her husband Eric receive the sad news about their son, Thatcher, I have also been comforted by their strength and wisdom.  Their faith is amazing, way stronger than mine, and seeing this has helped me realize that we really can get through anything with God. If you want to be encouraged too... they have a new blog to document their journey.  It is raw and real and sad and encouraging all at the same time.

My little pregnancy ticker says I have 5 days left until my due date. That's crazy. But, boy are we ready. We even did a little nesting this past week... I hung up some new wall art I made, William helped me finish knocking the built-ins out of our random empty room with no purpose extra spare bedroom. I even spackled and painted over the bright orange and green that was under them.  Levi's room is all prepared.  Our bags are packed and waiting by the door. I've finished up as many of the evaluations at school as possible.  Even sat in on a tough 3 hour long ARD yesterday (oh, did I mention I'm still working).  Speaking of working... is it really THAT shocking that I'm still working? Yes yes, I'm 39 weeks pregnant... but yall know me.  I don't stop going.  Nothing slows me down.  So you can bet that a watermelon or 10lbs. baby attached to my front won't either.  Besides, I'm pretty sure my principal would have cried if I went into labor before that ARD today.  Funny story actually... during the ARD, I was standing up and leaning across the table to point to a chart I gave the parent.  I was feverishly explaining it and probably getting a little worked up (not that I noticed) and then all of a sudden my principal is like "PEYTON!! Breathe!!!" I turned to look at her and shut up for two seconds stopped talking and realized I was literally gasping for breath.  Whoops... Oh well, the committee was amused and it probably broke up some of the tension.  We all had a good laugh about me going into labor during the meeting.

So anyways... where does that leave us??? WAITING! I HATE waiting! I'm the least patient person in the world. I'm a get-things-done-now kind of a girl. I do NOT procrastinate (which make me the antithesis of my husband).  William on the other hand is, of course, happy for Levi to wait to come out when his vacation starts on Wednesday.  William clearly isn't the one carrying this child.  Don't worry... I've had enough emotional break downs in the past week to make him almost wish Levi would just come now. Because the only thing worse that being 9 months pregnant is being married to someone 9 months pregnant me.

Now, just to spice up this post a bit... I leave you with a phone dump.

 My little man

 William and Lucy

 Levi's art work from Dana

 Lucy makes a good pillow

 38 weeks

 New wall art

 39 weeks

I went to the bathroom while writing this post and came back to a Lucy in my spot... figures.

And the musical stylings of Colin!

Way Too Soon

Nicole Reynes was taken from this world on February 17th, just 10 days after her 29th birthday, and exactly one month after her cancer diagnosis.

I don't know what else to say but that it was just way too soon.

Please keep my sister in law, Amy, in your prayers as well as the rest of Nicole's family and friends.

Thatcher

I'm awake and it's the middle of the night. There is a little man on my mind and his name is Thatcher. He is 36 weeks old (in the womb). On Monday, his parents found out that he almost certainly has some form of severe brain damage. They went in for a routine ultrasound and walked out the parents of what doctors believe to be a very sick little boy. They have incredible faith though.... So much more than I could ever have. They have shared that this week they want nothing more than to know Thatcher's name is being whispered in heaven. And it is.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about him, or Levi, since I heard their news. Like many others I'm praying for a miracle. I believe in them. After all, to me, Levi is one as well. Normally I would pray for doctor's wisdom, but in this case I pray for their errors. I want nothing more than for all of them to be wrong. How dare they, in their arrogance, declare they know this child's future. No one but The One knows that. And he has a plan.

Needless to say, making plans for Levi is incredibly bittersweet right now. People ask me if I'm excited and ready and my mind immediately goes to Thatcher. I feel like just thinking about my own child's supposed health is incredibly selfish. And after all it is only supposed health.

So if you read this and wonder how Levi and I are doing... Don't ask. I'm fine and William and I are spending time being thankful for what we have been blessed with thus far. And besides, giving some superficial update on how swollen I am or how large I've gotten doesn't really seem appropriate anymore. I'd really prefer you spend your time and thoughts on Thatcher, Whitney and Eric. I have already seen how this unborn child can make hundreds of people cry out to God. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through out all generations, for ever and ever. - Ephesians 3:20-21

A Precious Gift

Since this blog is mostly for me (and my memory's sake), I'm going to do a few posts on gifts that we have received for Levi.  That way, one day I can pull up the posts and talk to Levi about them and hopefully not forget all the things I felt initially.

I have to start with this.  My dear friend, Dana, created a painting for Levi's nursery.  I told her months ago that I would love to have something she painted in his room.  But, even when she gave it to me this last weekend, I had no idea the story behind the piece (or how much I was involved in inspiring it).

I'm going to take some pictures of it in the nursery tomorrow and post them.

All I can think is that Levi is SO lucky.  He is SO loved.

"Mrs. Stephens, is your baby coming out tomorrow?"

Also... New pregnancy brain low... Buying two 12-packs of soda along with tons of groceries and then leaving the 12 packs on the bottom of the cart and not realizing it until 3 hours later. 

A few things on a Wednesday

First of all, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to anyone who helped out Nicole after I posted.  I know a couple of people felt as strongly as I did about helping this girl out! When I posted the link initially only a few thousand dollars had been donated.... now over $12,000 has been given to help her out. I think this is awesome.  I seriously couldn't tell you about a more deserving person.  Her and her family are in Houston right now at MD Anderson.  I imagine that it has been a rough 24 hours since they got there.  If you are still considering giving, her website is www.nicolereynes.com. Keep her in your prayers.

Secondly, I'm finally reaching the "uncomfortable" stage of pregnancy.  I actually considered having my kids roll me down the hall in my rolling chair today. Ugh. But the good thing is that this means Levi is very close to joining us!

I definitely must be nesting... this is evidenced by the fact that I've been cooking.  Crazy right? Me? Cooking? Anyways, I'm not sure if William likes anything I've cooked or not.  He takes food to work with him at night and the dirty tupperware come home in the morning.  So either he likes it enough to eat it or he's dumping it before he gets home. Who knows.

Speaking of William... he is pretty adorable with "Levi" right now.  He loves to touch my belly and try to poke him and make him move.  He talks to him and occasionally yells at him (like the other morning when Levi wouldn't hold still and we were trying to go back to sleep--oh is he in for a rude awakening).  We are still holding out hope that a door opens in "career world" for William.  Please keep praying that this happens. The current situation is "working" but it's still going to be so hard.

Stay tuned for what will probably be an exciting February! I have an ultrasound on Friday to try and determine how big Levi is and then an appointment just after that with my OB. I'll keep the blog world updated!

T-minus 28 days until LEVI CHRISTOPHER is here!