Stay positive

May I present to you a review (parts of it may be musical) of allusion to make my point:

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of earth, the separate and equal station of private blogging which the Laws of Google and of Google's powers that be entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which drove them to the separation.
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I get knocked down but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down....

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

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It's my life... and it's now or never.

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I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd've known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore.

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Many of you are probably wondering, "Why? Why, after all this time is this blog private?"

I have blogged about things most people wouldn't dare talk to their own mother about... and trust me, sometimes I was putting myself out there.  But I never regretted what I said.  This is MY SPACE.  You don't HAVE to read.  If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.  If you think I'm wrong... that's fine.  You are welcome to leave a comment and tell me.  I'll accept your criticism humbly. We can maybe discuss why we don't agree... that's being human.

At this point in my life, however, my skin isn't as thick as it once was.  I'm vulnerable.  My husband, my main source of strength, is not here all of the time.  I have a baby. And my life has been crazy hectic. That means that I need to get rid of negativity.  Making my blogs private fixes that problem. Well at least in one area of my life.  For some reason some people couldn't figure out how to stop clicking on links to read my blog.... Or somehow they just magically typed the blog address in the navigation bar?? Regardless of how it happened, I will not sit by and let them take shots at my character. My opinions... fine.  Shoot away.  But my actual character.... forget. it. So while they got the best of me for a day, I'm taking back control.  I absolutely hope that many people will email me to read my blog.  I know that my infertility journey has helped other people seek help.  And my child makes people laugh daily.  And my outrageous rants probably also crack people up.  And i want to keep doing that.  I love reading blogs.  It's like reality TV in written form.  Except it just seems to much better.  In many ways way more inspiring.

Yesterday I wanted to throw in the towel.  Give up on blogging. My spirit was broken.  But thank God for William.  He backed up my right to blog and say what I need to say here (I think he's mostly terrified of what I'll be like if I don't let off steam into cyberspace ;) ), despite the fact that he has never really understood my need for reading or writing blogs. He knows that taking away this space is like taking away part of me.

So if you are reading... be prepared for some Levi, some Stephens family updates, some amusing tales, plenty of whining and ranting, sarcasm, pictures and most of all the TRUTH and REALITY (notice I did not say PERFECTION) of our lives. And just remember I will happily remove your name from the allowed readers list if you find your self hating what you are reading (but can't seem to stay away on your own).

With love (and a spunky fire that you all MUST love),
Peyton
The Author and Owner of this here blog since May 11, 2009

PS 10 bonus points if you can name all parts of the review