Things to think about: military wives/families

I can tell many people don't know what to say or how to act around me... I thought every once in a while when I come across things, I'd post a few things that might help people understand where I'm coming from... 

I really like this graphic.  Especially the "Don't throw these grenades" part.  You would be surprised how many times a DAY I get asked most of these. 

Here are a couple of blog posts that I feel describe how I feel (and most other wives I talk to):

On asking for help

On our craving to spend time just the three of us

Going on day 3 of William being "in the box".  Missing him like crazy and just hoping that this week isn't the one that pushes me over the edge.

Even though he's gone

I still put the bottles together the way he did it... even though I never cared which tops went with which bottoms.

I keep pillows on his side of the bed, so I don't accidentally get on his side.

I don't sit on his spot on the couch.

I leave his things sitting on the bedside table.

The maid puts away his shoes (that he left out before he left) and I get them out of the closet and put them where he left them. (She must think I'm nuts.)

I miss him so much.

30 weeks

Well hello there 30 week old baby. How did you get so big?

You cut another tooth this week and also are a standing fool.  You have learned to fake cough and throw your blankie out of the crib. Awesome. You also learned to say the b sound over and over. And you still occasionally make the k, g, s, and m sounds.

You still like eating a lot. And I'm finally going to say it... but after SEVEN LONG MONTHS of spit up... I think it has finally normalized! You spit up a few times a day... but it is no where near constant any more! HALLELUJAH!

Oh and let's not even talk about the 7 month thing... I mean really? More than half a year old on Friday? Stop it.

You are still wearing some 9 month stuff and some 12 month stuff.  In length you need 12 month.
You still take 4 bottles a day, eat 3 solid meals, and take around 3ish naps.

AND you are still my FAVORITE RED HEAD!

Love, Mommy

Well, shoot, it was Tuesday

Well folks, I finally did it.  I forgot to take a picture of Levi in the chair today.  -10 points for me
However I did take lots of regular pictures and videos for William. +20 points for me
I also worked a full day. + 10 point for me
I also paid off all of my student loans today! Well I should say we... it was half William's money. +1million points for us

So I guess I end up on top today!

Coming up next... pictureless (until tomorrow) 30 week post.

I would like to thank my yard men...

For winning me yard of the month!

You, too, can win yard of the month:

Step 1: Scope out another yard of the month house (aka my next door neighbors)

Step 2: Call and ask who did their landscaping

Step 3: Hire said landscaper and tell them -- this part is important -- tell them "I don't care what you do... just make it pretty"

Step 4: Complain about how if you were richer you would redo the entire yard all the way around and definitely add some color

Step 5: Answer the door when two strange men knock (I most definitely almost told them to go away)

Step 6: When they ask if they can put the sign in your front yard... Respond: "Seriously?????! MY yard?!?!"

Surprisingly, yard of the month was NOT on my deployment bucket list.  Clearly my goals for myself are way too low!

The reality is...

I can't face the reality.

I count it a great day when I make it 24 hours without bursting into tears.

It's a good one when it's only once.

Some days I go through ROLLS of toilet paper. Today is one of those days.

William and I look at life so differently. I'm irrational and he's rational. He says, this is me being one step closer to being home... And I think, it's one step closer to him being gone.

He leaves for California tomorrow. He says he will have one week with electronics before its radio silence until the 16th. But with the two hour time difference and everything else I'm betting we barely talk for the next 23 days.

I has been a long time since we have gone that long without talking. And in actuality I'm not sure there has been a time in 10 years that we have gone that long. Even when he was at LDAC we talked a little bit.

So right now, I'm gripped with fear about not talking to him. I know it will only be worse once he's out of the country. He is my rock. He makes me happy. He helps me decide things. I'm very independent but he is still the leader of this family. I need him.

With work on the course it has been on, and Levi moving at the pace he has been, I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the next 27 days.

Some days I wish I moved back to Houston.

29 weeks

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

I am a perfectionist.  And on hard days I have to pray this prayer multiple times.  I cannot fix everything.  I cannot make everyone's problems go away.  I cannot be everything to everyone all the time.  There isn't enough of me... and when I try to do that, I don't have enough of me left to give to the things that are important... my son and my husband.

I think I'll write this on my hand for tomorrow.

It's only Wednesday?

Tough week... REALLY tough week.

Just asking for prayers.

28 weeks

Dear Levi,
Soon you will be older than your gestational age when you were born!

I can't believe how big you are getting!

 You started pulling up this week and always sampled various "finger" foods.  Although I did have to shove them in your mouth... you really aren't a fan of them yet!

 Look at those orange eye lashes! Oh my, how lucky am I!

Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you and we love you so much!

Love, Mommy

Landscaping Face Lift

It was time!

 A little cleaning out in front! 

 Sooo much better!

 We had some bushes wreaking havoc on our foundation so they had to go... I'm hoping some grass will come in... Hmm... I should probably try to plant some?

Oh brother,

I don't even know where to begin.  I've been avoiding blogging how I really feel for weeks.  It has resulted in a whole lot of fake smiles, "I'm fine"'s, and lots of disorganization.

In reality I feel like I'm just making it.  I crash in bed and I'm lucky if I've worked out in a week. I struggle to find time to go to the bank and the post office. I feel like I'm such a bad wife for sending William nothing thus far. Feel tons of guilt about whether Levi's daycare is the right place for him.  Terrified that my house is falling apart (quite literally) and have no clue what to do about our foundation. Really need to get my act together at work.  Wish I had more time to devote to my friendships.

All on top of this horribly large lump in my throat that will not go away. People are constantly asking me if I'm okay... just randomly.  My principal asks me this like every time she sees me... I guess I just look panicked or something.  And when I'm just walking around with Levi people ask if I need help.  I guess I just look that helpless. But, despite how I may look and feel, I know that I must have it relatively together or I would have had a much bigger breakdown by now.

I'm not sure if this post makes any sense... but what can I say, blogging is cheaper than therapy.

William, I miss you so much. Thank you for being my cheerleader. I love you.

27 weeks

Dear Levi,

You are 27 weeks old today. How fast time flies! You are a speedy crawler and have even started pulling up and trying to stand straight up. Slow down boy! You love to eat.  Your favorite is squash and pears. You had homemade chicken this weekend.  You also had your first cracker and ate several meals in restaurant high chairs (Praise the Lord!!!). You are cutting your first tooth and taking it like a champ. You really aren't much more fussy than you normally are! So proud of you! Thanks for being such an amazing little boy.

Mommy and Daddy love you!

Love, You Parents

Gerber Photo Contest

Hop on over to Facebook and vote for Levi as the next Gerber baby!

We would love to use the winnings for his college fund :)

Vote here!

You can vote once a day!

6 month photo shoot!

A few weeks ago we had 6 month photos taken of Levi! Here they are!!

Typically I'm a HUGE fan of black and white photos... but why wouldn't anyone want to disguise that RED hair!!?!