In reality I feel like I'm just making it. I crash in bed and I'm lucky if I've worked out in a week. I struggle to find time to go to the bank and the post office. I feel like I'm such a bad wife for sending William nothing thus far. Feel tons of guilt about whether Levi's daycare is the right place for him. Terrified that my house is falling apart (quite literally) and have no clue what to do about our foundation. Really need to get my act together at work. Wish I had more time to devote to my friendships.
All on top of this horribly large lump in my throat that will not go away. People are constantly asking me if I'm okay... just randomly. My principal asks me this like every time she sees me... I guess I just look panicked or something. And when I'm just walking around with Levi people ask if I need help. I guess I just look that helpless. But, despite how I may look and feel, I know that I must have it relatively together or I would have had a much bigger breakdown by now.
I'm not sure if this post makes any sense... but what can I say, blogging is cheaper than therapy.
William, I miss you so much. Thank you for being my cheerleader. I love you.
2 comments:
I am sorry that I am adding to your stress! You are doing a great job and are an amazing mom. William understands that you have a lot going on. Though at times you appear like super woman - you are only one person. (and daycare is not bad - we just want the best for our kiddos)
Hey Payton!
I am still up for a walk sometime or maybe some coffee. If you ever need a babysitter for just some alone time... I would be more than happy to share my time. :) Take care! As for being a partial "single mom", you rock!
Linda Lange
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