Secondary Infertility - Some Myths, Some Lies, and Some Truths

The last time I blogged about our fertility journey, I did it privately and later made it public. While I might still blog all the gory details over here again, there are a few posts that I think need to be public. Partly for me and partly for everyone else. (So people will understand how I'm feeling and maybe be understanding with someone else in this same position).

MYTHS
1. We have a child which means we could easily have another child if we wanted to.
2. It's easy to get pregnant the second time around.
3. People who had fertility issues the first time around but had a child don't actually have fertility issues.
4. William hasn't been home long enough for us to know if we are having problems.
5. I should wait until we have tried for a year to get help.

LIES
1. We aren't ready to have another child.
2. We would be perfectly happy if Levi was an only child.
3. We WANT Levi to be an only child.

THE TRUTH
The truth is that we are heading down that road again. It has already started to be incredibly painful for me to see the excitement of "big sister/big brother" announcements surrounding me. As much as I tried to ignore the signs that something was going on, each month of Levi's life that ticks by just makes it more painfully aware that until at least after September of 2014 Levi will be an only child. Let me just say that I feel like this time is worse. I know EXACTLY what I'm getting myself into. Blood work 2-3 times a month, internal ultrasounds (my fav), clomid craziness (and trust me... it is CARRAZY!), counting days, the dreaded two week wait. And I know exactly what I'm missing. Those sweet pregnancy symptoms, excitement about the gender, feeling the movements, having my heart/love grow infinitely for a tiny being I've never met.

Ugh. Even writing this makes me feel sick. I met with a doctor last week. We discussed the "plan". Things have been set into motion. In reality, the months until the end of this are numbered. William and I already know that IVF isn't for us. So if we can't conjure another miracle Clomid baby we will begin filling out adoption applications.

So, if you think Levi needs a sibling, you aren't the only one. William and I agree whole heartedly.