Around Here

Well yesterday was somewhat eventful.  You can read Levi's take on it right here.

He woke up at 4:30 screaming the saddest cry you have ever heard. Normally I'm all about letting him cry back to sleep... but this was different.  So I ran in there and tried to rock him for about an hour but he was having none of it.  So I laid him back down and he fussed another hour or so until 7.  He cried after he ate too... something just was off about him.

So we headed to the doctor.  I thought he had an ear infection.  But to be honest we still don't know the answer.  Levi's ears were totally clogged with wax.  So after a fair amount of digging the doctor said... "Just call me tomorrow if he is still off".  While we were there we did his 4 month stuff since we were supposed to go next week anyways.  Turns out Levi isn't gaining weight very quickly anymore.  He has dropped to the 25 percentile in weight.  While this is still a "healthy" weight, I just don't think he is gaining all that he could because of the reflux.  The doctor gave us another medicine to take on top of the prevacid. It's called Bethanechol.  It's basically a muscle relaxer for smooth tissue.  We will see how it goes.  He wants to see Levi more often though... so we are going back on Tuesday for another check.

We also were given the okay to start solid foods.  I'm really hoping it helps.  My doctor said start with fruits and so I chose avocado... I mean it is a fruit! And it has an incredibly high fat content which I'm hoping with help mr. skinny.  Levi liked it... but was too hungry to be patient enough with it.

I made at least a month's worth of baby food last night.  I made bananas, sweet potatoes, pears, peas (which are probably getting chucked because I couldn't get the skin to puree) and prunes.  I also have several avocados to make "on demand" because they can't really be frozen!

The Ginger

"Is it just the light in here, or is your child's hair red?"

"Does your husband have red hair?"

"Where did it come from?"

"Oh, did you adopt him? He's so cute?" ---> personal favorite

"For a second there I thought his hair looked a little red."

"Wow, you are RIGHT. In the sun it IS red."

"Do you think it will go away?"

"Even his eyebrows are red!"

"It's sooooo red."

"Were you a red head as a baby?"

"It skipped two generations? Is that normal?"

"It is STILL red."

"Dang, it's almost orange."

"I'm just going to call him The Ginger."

"Are you sure he is yours?"

"He looks more and more like the mailman every day."

"Do you like it?"

"It's looking a little more brown. {until Levi moves into some natural light} Oh, nope... still red."

"I knew a girl with red hair once... but not THAT red."

"He looks more like my child than yours." ----> I happen to have several red headed friends!

"Who is the father?"

Soooo Lucky!

For the record... Levi was a trooper during this photoshoot.  It was sooooo hot and he was tired. At least we got a few smiles out of him and he didn't scream the whole time!

The Huge Lump in My Throat

I keep trying to swallow... as if it's just some sort of stuffiness that stuck in my throat.  But of course, it won't go away.

I think about what is happening and just wish that it was a bad dream.  Yes, we signed up for this... but it doesn't make it any easier.  Yes, I just have to make it 37 more days this first time... but that doesn't make it any easier.

And of course Levi just has to be his daddy's twin... right about now I wish he looked like me.  So that when I kiss him the lump in my throat doesn't get bigger. I know it will get easier, but right now I can't even squeak out the "d" word in front of Levi... Daddy.

People say,  "so you are used to this" when I explain how much time we have spent apart... but trust me... it NEVER gets any easier. They say, "at least you have Levi"... but he will NEVER replace my husband. And my favorite two things people say, "the time will fly by" and "you will be so busy with Levi you won't notice William's not there".... Really? Thanks, I'm aware of how fast the time will go by.  When William gets home Levi will be 18 months old.  I wish I could pause life so that William won't miss it all.  And do you really think I won't notice that William isn't here? I'm not THAT busy.  I have one child... not four... Levi isn't that time consuming. And seriously for the one millionth time... YES! I'm going back to work.  I cannot sit at home all day... I understand that taking care of a child is not "sitting at home". But being at home is hard enough when I need/have to be here.

So, if you think about asking me "How do you do it?" Think again... Do I have a choice? Can I run away right now and not "do it"? How do you "do" hard things? There's your answer... that's how I do it.

And no, he won't be home for Christmas.

16 weeks old

Dear Levi,
You are 16 weeks old.  You found your feet this week.  You've been hanging on to them and pulling them into your mouth.  You are still my happy boy.  You love to talk.  You are making lots of vowel sounds and some "g" sounds.  You are also gurgling and blowing bubbles.  You have lots of fun playing with all of your toys.  You like to be read to and also think your own voice is hilarious.  You are wearing 6-9 month clothes... this outfit is a 9 month outfit.  I can't believe how big you are getting! You are eating close to 32 oz. of formula a day.

We love you baby boy!
Love Mommy