William went to the specialist today. Apparently his shape thing isn't a problem. Because apparently he has so many little swimmers (a very large number of them) that having a few that are the wrong shape is no big deal. The doctor was completely unconcerned.
So I guess that's good. The only thing I'm "sad" about is that William and I were having a good time sharing the burden. Or I was enjoying not being the "problem". And I was also enjoying my very special treatment. William has been treating me like a princess. Which I love. Duh.
He promises to continue treating me like a princess. Swears that it wasn't because he felt bad. We will see. He bought a new TV to celebrate I think. He also showed me his A+ report card from the sperm analysis. Oh gosh. I now have a husband who knows how high his sperm count is. This could be dangerous.
We see my doctor again tomorrow. I'll report back then. Until then we will continue to happily enjoy the process of trying... and neither of us are afraid to admit that has been the best part. Although we will both admit that we have never been more in sync and felt closer than we have over the past couple of months.
I'm starting to feel calmer... that's a good thing.
Peyton
Monday, May 2, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
I've been keeping a secret...
Many of you know by now that we have been trying to get pregnant. However, until this point I haven't publicly blogged about it. I have been not-so-publicly blogging about it on a private blog I created to document our "adventure" into parenthood.
So why am I blogging about it now? Well, it's not because we are pregnant. What? You thought this was my pregnancy announcement? Ha. Far from it. It's my unpregnancy announcement. Well sort of. I chose today to "come out" about it because this week is National Infertility Awareness Week.
That's right... I said it... the I word. Here's the part where you tell me we haven't been trying long enough, or that I need to relax, or that "it will happen when it is supposed to happen". And here's the part where I tell you that those are myths and if you say those things to me I'll silently be thinking, "You have no idea how painful this disease is".
Here are the myths shattered (well at least the ones that I feel strongly about at this point):
1. We are 23 and 24 years old. We ARE struggling with infertility. No, it doesn't have to be after the age of 30. It happens to people in their 20's... I promise.
2. We have been trying long enough. Trust me.
3. Just because my husband travels doesn't mean our infertility is because we haven't seen each other. Don't believe me? I'll let you call my doctor.
4. If you open your mouth to say "You can always adopt"... you better think twice. If you ask me if we will consider adoption, I have already developed a canned response for you. (Not saying we wouldn't/aren't considering it... but seriously be more sensitive.) The sentiment is equivalent to saying "Oh, your grandmother died... well don't be sad, you still have another one."
5. There isn't always a quick fix. Everyone seems to know someone who has taken a magic pill that has helped them get pregnant. But it's not always that easy.
6. There is an upside to infertility-- Our marriage has been significantly strengthened by this trial. William has been an amazing support to me and I can't thank him enough for all the selfless things he has done for me. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else.
Just like when I blogged during MS Awareness Week, there are some facts I think you should be aware of:
1. 1 out of 8 couples will suffer from infertility.
2. One third is caused by a female factor, one third is caused by a male factor and one third is a combination of both... it's NOT a women's disease.
3. 44% of women with infertility seek medical assistance. Of those women, only 65% will give birth.
4. Fertility treatments are most likely not covered by insurance. Even if you have "good" insurance. Our insurance company covers diagnostic testing... and then the money stops there.
5. Most recent statistics suggest that IVF from non-donor eggs is 28% successful in the US. (OH and it costs $5-10K a cycle...see above fact for how much this sucks.)
So what can you do for us?
Just be supportive.
Recognize the side effects which are, but not limited to.... bitterness, depression, increased motivation, flakiness, mood swings, hot flashes, and spousal arguing among other things.
Understand that we are grieving. We are finally reaching a place of peace about what we have been dealt but it's been a long hard road.
Respect our privacy. This is a tough thing to deal with. Many people do not share about this process at all. I was somehow graced with the God-given trait of bearing-it-all but my husband was not. We do talk about it but on our terms. (Sorry we get to be selfish here.)
If we want your advice or your opinion, we will ask for it.
If you are pregnant, I don't mind listening to you complain... but I'm going to complain right back. Because fertility treatments have many common side effects with pregnancy but don't end in the amazing reward of a child all that often. :) Don't worry... I'm still happy for you!
Most importantly, remember that people without children aren't always that way because it's what they have chosen. Sometimes it is because that is what life has dealt them.
For more information, click the button below or visit the Resolve website.
For the most part, I will not blog about infertility here. If something huge happens I'll share when it's appropriate... but for now... I'll spare you the details.
So why am I blogging about it now? Well, it's not because we are pregnant. What? You thought this was my pregnancy announcement? Ha. Far from it. It's my unpregnancy announcement. Well sort of. I chose today to "come out" about it because this week is National Infertility Awareness Week.
That's right... I said it... the I word. Here's the part where you tell me we haven't been trying long enough, or that I need to relax, or that "it will happen when it is supposed to happen". And here's the part where I tell you that those are myths and if you say those things to me I'll silently be thinking, "You have no idea how painful this disease is".
Here are the myths shattered (well at least the ones that I feel strongly about at this point):
1. We are 23 and 24 years old. We ARE struggling with infertility. No, it doesn't have to be after the age of 30. It happens to people in their 20's... I promise.
2. We have been trying long enough. Trust me.
3. Just because my husband travels doesn't mean our infertility is because we haven't seen each other. Don't believe me? I'll let you call my doctor.
4. If you open your mouth to say "You can always adopt"... you better think twice. If you ask me if we will consider adoption, I have already developed a canned response for you. (Not saying we wouldn't/aren't considering it... but seriously be more sensitive.) The sentiment is equivalent to saying "Oh, your grandmother died... well don't be sad, you still have another one."
5. There isn't always a quick fix. Everyone seems to know someone who has taken a magic pill that has helped them get pregnant. But it's not always that easy.
6. There is an upside to infertility-- Our marriage has been significantly strengthened by this trial. William has been an amazing support to me and I can't thank him enough for all the selfless things he has done for me. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else.
Just like when I blogged during MS Awareness Week, there are some facts I think you should be aware of:
1. 1 out of 8 couples will suffer from infertility.
2. One third is caused by a female factor, one third is caused by a male factor and one third is a combination of both... it's NOT a women's disease.
3. 44% of women with infertility seek medical assistance. Of those women, only 65% will give birth.
4. Fertility treatments are most likely not covered by insurance. Even if you have "good" insurance. Our insurance company covers diagnostic testing... and then the money stops there.
5. Most recent statistics suggest that IVF from non-donor eggs is 28% successful in the US. (OH and it costs $5-10K a cycle...see above fact for how much this sucks.)
So what can you do for us?
Just be supportive.
Recognize the side effects which are, but not limited to.... bitterness, depression, increased motivation, flakiness, mood swings, hot flashes, and spousal arguing among other things.
Understand that we are grieving. We are finally reaching a place of peace about what we have been dealt but it's been a long hard road.
Respect our privacy. This is a tough thing to deal with. Many people do not share about this process at all. I was somehow graced with the God-given trait of bearing-it-all but my husband was not. We do talk about it but on our terms. (Sorry we get to be selfish here.)
If we want your advice or your opinion, we will ask for it.
If you are pregnant, I don't mind listening to you complain... but I'm going to complain right back. Because fertility treatments have many common side effects with pregnancy but don't end in the amazing reward of a child all that often. :) Don't worry... I'm still happy for you!
Most importantly, remember that people without children aren't always that way because it's what they have chosen. Sometimes it is because that is what life has dealt them.
For more information, click the button below or visit the Resolve website.
For the most part, I will not blog about infertility here. If something huge happens I'll share when it's appropriate... but for now... I'll spare you the details.
What the Heck?
Seriously....
I just got my day three lab results and they were normal. I guess that's good? Although now I'm thoroughly confused about what might be causing my issues.
I want to be done with this. I think we are both really at peace and okay with adoption, but we don't want to end up pregnant and in the middle of an adoption (although we both agreed we would continue to go through with the adoption regardless). It's funny to be seriously talking about things like the race of our baby and open adoptions and ages we would be okay with. We even discussed adopting from the state system and looked at sibling groups. We agreed they would have to be young children like under 5... but we are pretty open to anything I think.
William won't admit it to others quite yet... but it's extremely clear that he wants a baby now. He even mentioned to his supervisor that he is trying to "settle down". So cute.
He went back to work today. He wasn't thrilled but I made him aware that I am extremely grateful for him providing for our family. Hopefully some new job opportunities will open up soon. We keep trying and trying. We are so ready.
I just got my day three lab results and they were normal. I guess that's good? Although now I'm thoroughly confused about what might be causing my issues.
I want to be done with this. I think we are both really at peace and okay with adoption, but we don't want to end up pregnant and in the middle of an adoption (although we both agreed we would continue to go through with the adoption regardless). It's funny to be seriously talking about things like the race of our baby and open adoptions and ages we would be okay with. We even discussed adopting from the state system and looked at sibling groups. We agreed they would have to be young children like under 5... but we are pretty open to anything I think.
William won't admit it to others quite yet... but it's extremely clear that he wants a baby now. He even mentioned to his supervisor that he is trying to "settle down". So cute.
He went back to work today. He wasn't thrilled but I made him aware that I am extremely grateful for him providing for our family. Hopefully some new job opportunities will open up soon. We keep trying and trying. We are so ready.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
So Stinking Excited!
Just splurged on a new camera lens. It's a 35mm prime lens! I can't wait to use it during Katie's wedding weekend!
We are enjoying our Easter weekend. Yesterday after we rearranged everything we went to get William some new running shoes. His were literally falling apart. No bueno. I also bought my first pair of Toms.
I bought my cousin Shelby some for Christmas and I know that my aunt bought some soon after that. It's just been a matter of time until I got some. Mine are actually vegan... meaning they weren't made with any animal products. Which I guess is a good thing because I'd prefer not to wear animals on my feet. They also are made with pesticide free materials that are also all recycled. And even better-- for every pair of shoes purchased you are actually buying another pair for someone in need. They are a little awkward looking if you ask me... but comfort overrules and they come in fun colors and patterns.
I also bought a new splash guard for my Nalgene water bottle and a brush that fits inside it to clean it. It you have ever tried to clean one of the bottles you recognize it is tough. I also discovered that Whole Earth Provisions (where we got the Toms and water bottle stuff, next door to the place we got William's shoes - Run On!) sells replacement parts for Nalgenes and Camelbaks. I appreciate this but wish I knew about it sooner. I can't tell you how many Nalgenes I've ruined (in the dish washer) by melting the lid. I also was worried when I bought my new Camelbak that it wouldn't last long because it has a straw and soft mouth piece. But they sell replacements of all those things. That's a lot better than buy a new Nalgene every time you melt the lid in the dish washer. Quite a money saver!
Updated at 7:15pm: I used our new "bottle cleaner" this evening and it was awesome. It's sad how dirty my nalgene was... the bottom of it was white. I think it was a build up of crystal light. Gross... It's a good thing I didn't die of drinking moldy crystal light build up. Then I used it on every narrow necked kitchen item in our apartment! It's awesome! Buy one!
Today we went to church with Megan, the boys, Aunt Tricia and Uncle Red. Then we had some lunch and hunted eggs.
Now we are lounging on the couch. We are going on a little run this afternoon. Should be a good day overall!
We are enjoying our Easter weekend. Yesterday after we rearranged everything we went to get William some new running shoes. His were literally falling apart. No bueno. I also bought my first pair of Toms.
I also bought a new splash guard for my Nalgene water bottle and a brush that fits inside it to clean it. It you have ever tried to clean one of the bottles you recognize it is tough. I also discovered that Whole Earth Provisions (where we got the Toms and water bottle stuff, next door to the place we got William's shoes - Run On!) sells replacement parts for Nalgenes and Camelbaks. I appreciate this but wish I knew about it sooner. I can't tell you how many Nalgenes I've ruined (in the dish washer) by melting the lid. I also was worried when I bought my new Camelbak that it wouldn't last long because it has a straw and soft mouth piece. But they sell replacements of all those things. That's a lot better than buy a new Nalgene every time you melt the lid in the dish washer. Quite a money saver!
Updated at 7:15pm: I used our new "bottle cleaner" this evening and it was awesome. It's sad how dirty my nalgene was... the bottom of it was white. I think it was a build up of crystal light. Gross... It's a good thing I didn't die of drinking moldy crystal light build up. Then I used it on every narrow necked kitchen item in our apartment! It's awesome! Buy one!
Today we went to church with Megan, the boys, Aunt Tricia and Uncle Red. Then we had some lunch and hunted eggs.
Now we are lounging on the couch. We are going on a little run this afternoon. Should be a good day overall!
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