What I learned in my first year of marriage

It's okay to fight just fight fair.
William and I are pretty notorious for fighting.  We had our squabble's before marriage and continue to have them.  But they are a whole lot different now.  Less shots at each other's character and no wasting time yelling... we just try to get to the crux of the problem and move on with life.  We also argue a bit less due to the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing.

There is no going to bed angry.
I say that there is no going to bed angry, but that doesn't mean we don't try.  William especially loved to go to bed angry prior to our marriage and at the beginning.  However not much sleeping happens when one or both of us is huffing and puffing and trying to make their anger blatantly apparent to the other. Now we know we can stay as mad as we want but there won't be any sleeping until someone (or both of us) gives in and gives an apology.

Things will go wrong... I promise.
We strongly believe in Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong... so start saving your money now!

Love grows exponentially.
We thought we were in love before we got married.  But the closeness we have now is exponentially bigger than our love was then (no, Dad, this has nothing to do with algorithms).  I can't explain it but it's pretty awesome.

Leave work at work.
William has no issues leaving his work at work... but I on the other hand have had to work hard at this.  I have to say I think I've mastered it now.  Hopefully I won't slip back into any bad habits while William is away.

Laugh a lot.
It may be a given... but you know for the sake of the list. We laugh a ton... and mostly at each other.  Lucky for us we both have good senses of humor.  We use them a lot.

Cleave to your husband/wife.
Separating from our families (sorry guys) is something that we took very seriously.  We both grew up very differently and it was very important for us to create our own family.  It took sacrifices from both of us but in the end it was well worth it.  You can go straight to the Bible on this one.  I definitely think that this one concept can make or break a marriage and I've seen it with people close to me.

Get some newly wed friends but keep your single ones too.
All I can say is "Thanks" to Jonna and Bryan and our friends from our newly wed Sunday School class. And thanks to all my girl friends who have kept me sane when William is gone.

Be spontaneous.
Some ideas: go to the fair, wander around the mall for a few hours, go to the zoo, have a pumpkin carving contest, get yogurt (every night for weeks), drive across town to the closest dairy queen, have a dance party in your living room.

I'm sure a lot of these are obvious... but I don't just blog for yall... I blog for me.  And I needed this list.

Long story short:
I had a few responses to my last post that I guess people felt like I was throwing myself a pity party.  I'm not.  Really I'm not.  I'm just acknowledging that I feel different now than I did when William was in Oklahoma.  In a nutshell... we are VERY happy. Our relationship hasn't been better in our 11 years of knowing each other.

What's going on?!

I've had lots of questions recently about what is going on.  So here's the long answer:
William commissioned into the Army in December 2009.  He had an 8 year National Guard/ Reserve contract ( I think) and served 4 of them while he was in school under a simultaneous membership program.  He completed the basic officer training while he was in college and was required to attend Advanced Training in the area that he branched.  He branched military intelligence.  We always knew he would be going to MIBOLC which is the Advanced Training for MI officers.  We were told we would get a months notice.

That's the back story... after this almost a year passed. We had started to wonder if they were ever going to send him.  Also, he was virtually useless to his National Guard unit considering he was non-deployable and hadn't completed his training.  So with some pushing from his unit, he called some one at "Big Army" (as he calls it) to find out what the deal was.  Turns out they had basically lost his name in the system.  With his kind reminder that he still existed, they put him on a bunch of wait lists for classes starting anywhere between November 29 and March.  He was 4th in line for the November 29th class.  As of November 16th we hadn't heard otherwise.  And I was starting to get nervous.  Even though the person in charge said there was almost no way for him to get into the November 29th class, I'm full of what ifs.  So I was worried.

November 17th William called to "check" where his name was on the lists. The guy was like "Oh, it looks like your name just got moved into the class.  Looks like you'll need to report on the 29th.  You'll have your orders in 24 hours."

That's pretty much when the whirlwind began.  We got things settled in Dallas and in order with Halliburton so that he could take a military leave of absence.  Then we went to Houston for Thanksgiving.  We drove home on Thursday night and left on Friday morning.  Hmm... it was kind like that I guess.  Except for that William's car didn't start on Thursday night.  So we jumped it.  And then it wouldn't start on Friday morning so we got a new battery.  Then we left.  3 hours late. Whoops.

Then we drove to El Paso and stayed the night.  Something else eventful happend on the way though.  He realized like 30 miles from El Paso that he left his military personnel file in Dallas.  Whoops. Kind of neccessary. Lucky for us we have a great cousin in Dallas who dropped everything, ran to our house, and shipped William the folder (it's full of pictures of his unmentionables teeth).  It only cost like a million dollars to Fedex overnight to our hotel... but it definitely got there by noon the next day. I'll give them that much.

We got to Tucson on Saturday afternoon (our 1st anniversary).  We went to the mall and saw a movie (Harry Potter) and grabbed some dinner.  The next morning William did lots of paperwork to get ready for this week.  Then we drove down to Fort Huachuca.  It's about an hour and fifteen minutes from Tucson.  It was exciting.  Not. We grabbed lunch in Sierra Vista (the town that surrounds Fort Huachuca).  Then we went to see another movie.  Love and Other Drugs.  It was good.  William says it was mushy... but oh well.

I'll spare you the rest of the details from Sunday night and the wee hours of Monday morning. All the nervousness and tears (mostly mine... William's swears he just had something in his eye) and worry and good bye kisses.

You are probably thinking "Yall are apart all the time right... no big deal".  Except this is really different.  Why? I don't know.  William is just farther away.  I guess the gravity of what he could be training for is weighing down on me.  Up until this point I feel like the Army stuff has kind of been a game.  But now it's real.  He's deployable. And with the impending Korean issues there is no telling how fast his "Early 2012" deployment schedule could turn into April of 2011.  I mean really that's what's on my mind.  I had just learned to deal with the uncertainty of Halliburton.  The long hours, stress on William, crazy schedule.  He takes this much more seriously than he did his job.  Sad to say... but true.  He loves being able to serve his country.

So here we are again walking into the unknown.  Just a different kind. We've put our house buying plans and job changing plans on hold.  We've taken a big cut in income.  We will break into our savings for 3-day weekends with each other (in a heartbeat). And basically I guess we just hang on for the wild ride that God has in store for us.  This weekend as I was crying William said "I guess there's just a bigger plan in store for us".  I of course shot back "Oh yea, what is it?" He is a wise husband and said "Hell if I know!"

So hear we go...

One Whole Year

I was nineteen, you were twenty-one
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much too young
But we did it anyway

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

'Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you


Dancing in the Minefields by Andrew Peterson

A Small Misunderstanding

Yesterday I had to clear up a small misunderstanding.

You see... when you have an articulation impairment and a language impairment, it is very easy to have teachers convinced that your dog is named Yucky.  However, LUCKY for everyone involved I speak "speech impaired" child.  Now everyone understands that while D "yikes his new dog Yucky"... the dog is actually named Lucky! Lucky is relieved as well... since he's not all that yucky anyways.

So glad I could clear that up... the poor teacher thought his parents had lost their minds and let the kids name the dog Yucky.

Just another day in the life of a school SLP!

Christmas Excitement!!

I am so excited for Christmas.
I put up our Christmas trees this weekend... yes... trees!

However, the reason I'm excited about this Christmas isn't because I'm excited about family time, vacation or my Christmas list.  I'm excited about a child.

No, we aren't pregnant.  Don't worry we haven't adopted yet (well, not legally).

William and I are adopting a child from my school.  We will give a kid "Christmas".  And I'm incredibly excited about it.

By far the hardest part of my job has been watching a few kids on my caseload walk the halls and know that they are hungry.  (Well not when they are at school).  I have been incredibly touched by a particular child at my school.  He doesn't eat at home.  He has no toys.  Most nights I think he sleeps on the floor at his dad's night job.  But he is happy.  He is the sweetest child I've ever met.  And while he may struggle, he never stops smiling.

I can't request to sponsor him, but I know someone from my school will and that makes me happy.  He is so deserving.  So while we won't know if we are sponsoring him or some other child, we are going to make some kid really happy.  And we can't wait!